Embracing my fairness

I hate reading articles about skin color. Blah. Not in the racist way between different nationalites, but in the “Fair and Lovely” Indian way…discussing levels of skin color, dark, wheatish, fair. They make me sick. So of course I have to post about it, because I just came across another F**king article about it and am so. darn. tired. of. it.  There should be a limit on how much the media can discuss certain topics! Oh but that’s a whole different issue…

One of my best friends and I were on a vacation in LA a few years ago. In preperation to go to the beach, I was about to apply sun block. She stopped me, convincing me that Indians are supposed to be DARK. She is considered wheatish, and I’ve always been fair. I figured what the heck, and didn’t apply the sun block and cooked my skin for a few hours that day. I got a nice tan, since my skin tans quite easily.  In the next few months I noticed my photographs and hated how I looked…it just wasn’t ME.  If I had been born that way that’s another story…but I didn’t feel right with my skin that way, felt like I had painted on too much foundation.

I told someone else that story, and she said that my best friend must have been jealous, that’s why she wanted to sabotage, so to speak, my skin color by convincing me to not use sun block.  Wow, that amazes me, because this particular friend of mine is gorgeous in her own way…rail thin, nice features, intelligent. Why would she want to do that to me?  Anyway since that incident, I am disgusted by all conversations of skin color and I really don’t care. If I get tan accidentally (i.e., walking on the streets in Cancun while 4 months pregnant) that’s fine and I’m perfectly content with that. But purposefully changing one’s skin color just match another person’s ideal is just ridiculous.  I suggested once to my Dad that my brother get together with a certain girl I knew…he immediately stated that she was too dark. I was shocked, I guess I didn’t realize the extent skin color plays in Indian society.  Especially for females.

Oh, and to all my dark colored sisters…please, please don’t use foundation to alter the color of your skin. It doesn’t work, and makes you look pasty and cakey. In the States there are thousands wanting to be your skin color. Embrace what you have.

Happy New Decade

As I type this Om is INSISTING that I play music.  Then he holds onto a couch or table and moves his body up and down, bouncing to the tune of Dance pe Chance.

Without the novelty and discomfort of pregnancy or the insecurities of new parent symdrome, I’ve been lacking in the inspiration department for blogging. Om does amazing things on a daily basis, becoming more of a little man with his seperate personality.  But I just can’t blog about every little thing. First, there are practical reasons. Om doesn’t just sit in a lump in the bassinet anymore…he’s an active, stubborn, dynamic kid who likes to interfere with Mommy’s projects. So that means laptop time occurs in short burts…check email here, look at facebook there, etc. Second, coming back to the inspiration topic, I need something more than my child to discuss…however insensitive that may sound!

The only reason I am able to compose this post is because I’ve let my guard down and let Om open several baggies of toys. We try to have a toy system…every set of blocks, cars, balls are in seperate plastic zip locks tucked away in a wicker toy chest. This way items don’t get lost (and I don’t have nightmares of missing puzzle pieces under the fridge). Every few hours I take out one baggy, and then at the end of the day I attempt and try (doesn’t always happen) to put them back in their proper bag.

I am grateful that 2009 went without any major hiccups.  Om’s first year flew by, we went to India, to Minnesota, and I took an exam and did not pass. Then I tried to lose my pregnancy weight and have not reached my goal. I met several new people in Washington and got out of the house more to gain some semblance of my past life. Took a cake decorating class that had me sitting in a warehouse-type class room next to 13 year old girls and grandmothers. Bought tons of cake decorating supplies that will come in handy when I make cakes every few months (keep telling myself that!).

Back to the topic of meeting new people - Biggest learning point this year was that PEOPLE ARE NUTS. Sorry, not all people, but in general 1 out of 5 people I met had major mental issues.  You can not, absolutely, positively, determine a person’s character on one or two meetings. (I’m telling myself that…I’m sure, dear readers, you all knew that already!) . Oh, and one previous tidbit that I learned in law school and work (in a past life) showed it’s importance this year.  Write in an email what you would not mind having displayed on a projector in front of a jury. Seriously.  And I’m not the one who is guilty of this…but I am disgusted to have women casually show me secret emails that their girlfriends sent them in confidence. These emails were picked apart and became a joke. Seriously ladies?  If someone were to pour their heart out to me in an email I would NOT show anyone else. And even if I did end up sharing it (which is weird) why would I make fun of the person truly trying to share their problems?

This year reminded me of when I was in Kindergarten.  I was on the school bus and it was pouring rain outside. I was sitting with two blonde, popular plaid-clad girls. They, apparently, liked me and were laughing at little 6 year old jokes from the boy sitting behind us. I have no idea if I was actually friends with these girls, but I must have been because they were very chatty and had me sitting 3 to a seat with them (2 to a seat is more comfy, obviously! ).  Somehow, I also knew this other girl, I think she was Indian. I remember she had a short bob, shy demeanor, and a yellow raincoat. She was sitting several seats ahead, all alone. I think she was also my friend, not sure, but I kept looking at her and feeling sorry for her. The two girls did not like the yellow raincoat girl very much. They teased her.  In my foggy memory and six year old mind, I left the seat with the two girls and went and sat with the yellow raincoat girl.  This did not make the two girls very happy, they kept warning me not to sit with her and even threatened to make fun of me. All I remember is that the yellow raincoat girl smiled and we spent the rest of the bus ride in silence together on the seat, and the other girls forgot about us and continued their banter with the boy.

This story was repeated through my life in various forms. I initially made friends with the in crowd and then leave them when my conscience and integrity are tested. I sacrificed good times, likeability and quantity of friends all to make friends with the black sheep or underdog. There was never any guarantee that the unliked person would ever like me back or become my best friend, but at least I did not continue to feel guilty when they were teased or mistreated.

Om’s Words

Om is a little talking machine. Here are the list of words that he says (at 16 months)

• Dhoodho (milk)
• Mama
• Papa
• Bow bow (dog)
• Balloon (pronounced Ballooooooooon)
• Blue (for blueberry, also pronounced similar to balloon)
• Two (When I say one, he says two)
• Num num yum (for food)
• Aaja (come here)
• Ow ow (for Crow…he hasn’t yet mastered the “C” sound)
• Banana
• Bye-bye
• Boot -eh (shoes, socks)
• Phone (phphphfffff ooone)
• Hot (Hhhhhhhhoooot!)
• And I’m sure I’m missing something!

He’s also doing a variety of actions that make me just melt. Actually he can do pretty much anything and I find it cute.

• Kissy face (fishy face)
• Baby babble
• Dance dance
• clapping
• pointing the remote backwards at the tv
• insisting on music on the laptop
• pushing his “beep beep” (the little corn popper car) around
• drinking milk all by himself without my help
• asking for milk
• asking to open the toy box
• baby yoga
• playing tag (loves being chased by Mom)
• pretend phone
• and many more…always some new naughtiness going on in our home!

How to make really big messes. Part II

Step 1: Make super yummy and healthy pancakes (Fiber One brand, add pure pureed pumpkin) for breakfast.

Step 2:  Spread with low fat cream cheese & honey, then serve on a plate and make sure you grab a fork.

Step 3: Eat pancake, but leave some on the plate to feed baby.

Step 4: After baby consumes only 1 small piece and insists (!) on learning how to use the fork and plate, let him have it.

Step 5. Let go of all urges to clean, and go empty dishwasher while he’s distracted for 5 minutes.

Stickin' my tongue out at you!

How to make really big messes, Part I

How to make really big messes…that your Mommy has to clean up!

I didn't do it

How to travel with an infant

Went to India with a 9 month old awhile ago. We (I) encountered various challenges. Here are some tips to make it go by easier:

1. Bring lots of extra clothes for the plane ride. This means not just an extra sweater and a bib. I’m talking CLOTHES…pajamas, t-shirts, sweater, etc. The cabin pressure causes infants to pass bowel movements more frequently, resulting in blow outs and diaper leaks. Not fun to wash pants in an airplane bathroom!

2.  If your infant is starting to crawl and is eating solid foods, get ready for diarrhea. Like seriously, it’s going to happen. He may not get sick (i.e, fever) but he will inadvertently eat a speck of germ off the dusty wall or floor and lo and behold, you spend hours changing his pants, washing them etc. Why, you ask, would you change pants when there are diapers? Oh honey…get ready for:

3. MOTHER OF ALL DIAPER RASHES. So American diaper rashes are basically a bit of redness and some mild irritation. Indian diaper rashes, on the other hand, are MONSTER rashes. They spread down the legs, are big, red, bumpy, and when you gently wipe baby’s bottom, he wails in bloody murder pain. So you have to put baby in cloth diapers or pants and omit the wonderful diaper system. Bring diaper rash cream. 3 bottles. You can get similar stuff in India, but you’ll have to look for it or end up using coconut oil (which is greasy and stinky).

4. Boil water and store it. EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is good for yourself and if you are using formula or water for cereal.  Boil bottles if you aren’t breast feeding. Keep the bottles in rolling boil for 20 minutes. Have a designated area for this stuff in the desi kitchens, and tell maids not to mess with it (or teach the maids how to boil/clean the bottles).

5. Some meds to purchase in India:

• lactobacillus packets - super expensive in USA ($14 for 10 packets). In India super cheap. Use daily with baby if he starts diarrhea.
• ORS Packets (oral rehydration solution) – this is basically Pedia – lyte but in powder form. Again, super cheap and just as effective in India. Give baby 5 ounces of ORS (mixed with water) daily when he starts loose motions.
• Zinc C solution – When babies get diarrhea they lose a lot of nutrients and become weak. Give them 1 dose of this daily (starting when they become ill)
• saline solution – Whether from US or India, this is good for nasal congestion. Also bring along a bulb syringe, the ones in India suck.

6. The docs in India told us to feed him yogurt daily.

7. Before traveling 10,000 miles, my son O was the kind of kid who fell asleep in the CRIB (not my arms) and went #2 once a day. Now, after getting stomach irritation, he goes #2 nearly 5x a day and refuses to fall asleep unless I ROCK HIM.  I can’t tell you how much I miss the pre-India baby.  The doctors said he has stomach colic, which takes an indefinite time to recover.  Travelers to India with solid food eating infants – BEWARE!

8. We, the dumb Americans (well, actually I’m the dumb American, not my husband) decided to bring a car seat with us. No one in India utilizes car seats, the kids (and babies) peruse the seats and laps of adults freely while the driver navigates the crazy traffic and roads. Thank God we didn’t listen to anyone when they ADVISED us not to use the contraption…we got in a car accident and thank goodness baby was in the car seat in the back!  Lesson learned…listen to your heart! Not uncles and aunties who firmly claim they know what they are talking about!

9.  Reduce overall travel within India. This means have the relatives come to YOU, not vice versa. Ideally, you should stay with baby in one location the entire time and only travel when absolutely necessary. We have so much stuff, and it can get hectic to shift things each time. Also, babies take a few days to adjust to the new sleep time. They need the stability of one location (and the parents need some sanity!). Also, the less you travel the less chance of getting a random infection.

10. Bring diapers, wipes, formula, and food from here. Depending on what city you are staying in, you may be able to find similar brand names of baby products. However, if you are staying in a slightly less urban area you may have to use the local type of diapers or wipes which are not that good at absorbing. Also, it helps to have the items at hand instead of searching for them at various stores. Most desi cities are good for getting cheap infant clothes that you can use a couple of times and then throw away if they get stained, such as pajamas and undershirts.

Good luck !

How to brighten your face in 1 week

Forget facials that take time and money.  Unless of course you feel like wasting both. Here is a simple way to get a similar effect. I’ve had so any facials done in both America and India that I think I’ve figured out what needs to be done. Also, I am slightly claustrophobic so when they steam my face or rub goopy masks on my eyes and mouth I feel like I can’t breath. My Mom swears by the turmeric mask. You can add variations of facial massage and steam (all depends on how much time you want to spend).

1. Apply bleaching cream to face and neck. Sally Hansen’s bleaching cream is a good buy.  Follow directions on package and if you are prone to redness and irritation, skip this step. This step is not to bleach your skin but to bleach out the tiny baby hairs on your cheeks and behind the ears. Perform this step once a month. Too often can cause redness.

2. Wash face. Apply the following face mask:

2 tablespoons yogurt

1  tablespoon turmeric powder

squirt of lemon juice

Mix ingredients together and place in a tight container to place near your bathroom sink. This way it will last a couple days and you won’t need to remake it each time. Apply the yellow goop to your face, including the neck, decolletage, and under the eyes. Wait 15 minutes (more if you can). I usually do something else while it dries. Wash off in shower. Your tub will get dirty so make sure you are watching where all the yellow bits go. Or use a wet cloth to rub it off so it doesn’t get all over the place. Use this mask daily if you can, or whenever you remember (which is what I do). Obviously you can wash your face over the sink, but I try to be efficient and do everything in the shower.

Snack Ideas for a growing infant

1. Goldfish brand crackers

2. Chopped up tofu (sauted) or cheese cubes.

3. Cheerios

4. Any chopped up fruit, such as grapes, strawberries, or peaches. O chews the fruit and then spits up the peel. If using apple, pressure cook or boil the apple for a few minutes to soften it.

5. Same with any chopped up veggies. Peas are ideal since they are slightly sweet and easy to chew.

6.  Tomato, red pepper, or chicken soup.

7. Full fat Greek or Indian style yogurt.

8. Boiled pasta noodles such as Ramen or Maggi. If using plain pasta noodles like spaghetti then add butter, salt and pepper. Italian dressing also works.

Note: Citrus fruits may cause redness in the diaper area for infants. I would wait until after age 1 to introduce oranges, whole tomato chunks (soup is okay), pineapple etc.

Also note: All kids spit up food at least once. Just because he’s not eating it today doesn’t mean he hates it. Wait a couple days and try again, or change the form. Sometimes it’s the texture rather than the flavor that is causing trouble.

Would love comments for further ideas on snack foods!

How to help your baby sleep through the night

1. Wait 6 months. Not worth it before that.

2. If you have the space, have baby sleep in a separate room.  You may think you are silent at night, but we all snore, meow, or toss and turn, which is disturbing to sensitive ears.

3. Get a baby video monitor and 2 or 3 days (weekend works well) to ferberize baby. Ferber method is explained here: http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

4. Increase carbs in baby’s evening meal. WARNING: Do not feed baby immediately before bed. For example, if he sleeps at 8pm, then give him dinner around 6pm. He can have a light snack while you eat your dinner if necessary. Feeding him right before bedtime means he will wake up with heart burn and may vomit his evening meal. Formula or breast milk immediately before bed is perfectly fine, since the sucking relaxes the baby.

5. Install blackout curtains in the nursery.

6. Figure out an ideal temperature. For example, if it’s cold outside, then put baby in a sleep sack or warm clothes so that when he kicks off his clothes he won’t freeze and wake up crying. Vice versa if it’s on the warmer side.

7. If he has a fever, give him Tylenol. I do not know why some parents wait so long before giving Tylenol. Maybe being anti-medicine is an Indian thing? I’ve given my son Tylenol whenever he’s uncomfortable with teething or fever, and it makes for a better night for the both of us. Just make sure you are dispensing the right dose. Also, gripe water is another medicine to try when the baby is uncomfortable.  My husband says it’s sugar and random herbs with no effect. However, I’ve tried several brands on O and found that the ones that contain ginger can lessen gas in infants.

Some babies do not want to sleep through the night no matter what you do. Good luck to their parents, and please feel free to comment and add more tips on baby sleep that you have tested.

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